This n' That

Aphorisms
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

These Funny Times

 

Typo Terrors!

In the Sun City, Arizona Daily News-Sun: "Dr. William Hharnischfeger name was misspelled in a story in Tuesday's special section..."

From a card in a Moroccan hotel room: "Males and snacks may be served in your room at any time. Please call room service."

A notice in the Bridgeton, New Jersey, "Evening News": "Elder Valese, pastor of the Soul Stirring Church, Brooklyn, will speak here at eight o'clock. She will bring a quart with her and they will sing appropriate selections during the service."

Sign posted in front of a restaurant in Spring, Texas: "Evening Special: Men dine half-price when accompanied by a lady of equal or lesser value."

From a business card of a Chinese restaurant in Saddle Brook, NJ: "Mandarin, Szechuan and Human Cuisine."

Daily special listed on an office cafeteria board: "Chicken Condom Bleu"

Undaunted, the mother of the bride typed up a note, made 250 copies and enclosed one with each formal invitation. Family and friends were surprised to read: "Conception immediately following ceremony in the Grand Ballroom of the Holiday Inn. Everyone is invited."

Realty ad in Ishpeming, Michigan, "Action Shopper:" "Starter home, large kitchen with mice eating area."

From a church bulletin: "Ushers will swat late-comers at these points in the service."

From a Lenexa, Kansas church bulletin's Order of Service: "We present our thighs and offerings."

From an article in the Fresno, CA Bee: "On the third swig of a bottle, First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton christened the nuclear-attack submarine Columbia in Groton, Conn."


Dog Pack Attacks Gator in Florida!

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator," can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Notethat the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Click here to see actual photos! Absolutely not for the squeamish!


Ever Notice…

… that the bar code in the checkout line won't work on items you're embarrassed to be buying.
… that the easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.