"Valley Girl"

— by Frank and Moon Unit Zappa

Frank was never commercially successful, and often went out of his way to criticize mainstream music. Among other things. Guitarist Steve Vai played with Zappa for some time. A very unique, very intelligent man, he takes patience to listen to. He's a man I greatly admire, and was saddened to learn of his death at the young age of 52.

This sadly was Frank Zappa's only hit. Anovelty song, it makes fun of Valley Girl talk, an early '80s trend that started in California. Teenage girls around the country were saying things like "Gag me with a spoon." It pokes fun at what Zappa believed were spoiled rich girls living in the San Fernando Valley of California. This features Zappa's daughter, Moon Unit, as the Valley Girl. She was 14 when they recorded it. Moon Unit Zappa got a co-writing credit for this with her dad. She came up with the Valley Girl lines.

A California man named Timothy Brownfield sent letters to the FBI threatening to kill Zappa because he thought he stole the lyrics. Like … fer SURE!

I was … deep sigh … never a Valley Girl; I didn't grow up in the San Fernando Valley, but further down toward Long Beach in the Los Angeles 'burbs. I was always told that had I lived in the Valley during the '80's, I'd have been the perfect Valley Girl. Hm. Of course, you will catch me on occasion using the word … bitchin' …

Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine …
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Okay, fine …
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
In a clothing store

Like, OH MY GOD! (Valley Girl)
Like … TOTALLY (Valley Girl)
Encino is like SO BITCHIN' (Valley Girl)
There's like the Galleria (Valley Girl)
And like all these like really great shoe stores
I love going into like clothing stores and stuff
I like buy the neatest mini-skirts and stuff
It's like so BITCHIN' cuz like everybody's like
Super-super nice
It's like so BITCHIN'

On Ventura, there she goes
She just bought some bitchin' clothes
Tosses her head 'n flips her hair
She got a whole bunch of nothin' in there

Anyway, he goes are you into S and M?
I go, oh RIGHT.
Could you like just picture me in like a LEATHER TEDDY
Yeah right, HURT ME, HURT ME …
I'm sure! NO WAY!
He was like freaking me out …
He called me a BEASTIE …
That's cuz like he was totally BLITZED
He goes like BAG YOUR FACE!
I'm sure!

Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine …
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
So sweet 'n pure
Okay, fine …
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
So sweet 'n pure

It's really sad (Valley Girl)
Like my English teacher
He's like (Valley Girl)
He's like Mr. BU-FU (Valley Girl)
We're talking Lord God King BU-FU (Valley Girl)
I am SO SURE
He's like so GROSS
He like sits there and like plays with all his rings
And he like flirts with all the guys in the class
It's like totally disgusting
I'm like so sure
It's like BARF ME OUT …
Gag me with a spoon!

Last idea to cross her mind
Had something to do with where to find
A pair of jeans to fit her butt
And where to get her toenails cut

So like I go into this like salon place, y'know
And I wanted like to get my toenails done
And the lady like goes, oh my God, your toenails
Are like so GRODY
It was like really embarassing
She's like OH MY GOD, like BAG THOSE TOENAILS
I'm like sure …
She goes, uh, I don't know if I can handle this, y'know …
I was like really embarassed …

Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She's a Valley Girl
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
And there is no cure
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She's a Valley Girl
And there is no cure

Like my mother is like a total space cadet (Valley Girl)
She like makes me do the dishes and (Valley Girl)
CLEAN the cat box (Valley Girl)
I am sure
That's like GROSS (Valley Girl)
BARF OUT! (Valley Girl)
OH MY GOD (Valley Girl)
Hi!
Uh-huh (Valley Girl)
My name?
My name is Ondrya Wolfson (Valley Girl)
Uh-huh
That's right, Ondrya (Valley Girl)
Uh-huh …
I know (Valley Girl)
It's like …
I do not talk funny …
I'm sure (Valley Girl)
Whatsa matter with the way I talk? (Valley Girl)
I am a VAL, I know
But I live in like in a really good part of Encino so
it's okay (Valley Girl)
So like, I don't know
I'm like freaking out totally
Oh my God!

Hi!
I have to go to the orthodontist
I'm getting my braces off, y'know
But I have to wear a retainer
That's going to be really like a total bummer
I'm freaking out
I'm SURE
Like those things that like stick in your mouth
They're so gross …
You like get saliva all over them
But like, I don't know, it's going to be cool, y'know
So you can see my smile
It'll be like really cool
Except my like my teeth are like too small
But NO BIGGIE …
It's so AWESOME
It's like TUBULAR, y'know
Well, I'm not like really ugly or anything
It's just like
I don't know
You know me, I'm like into like the clean stuff
Like PAC-MAN and like, I don't know
Like my mother like makes me do the dishes
It's like so GROSS …
Like all the stuff like sticks to the plates
And its like, it's like somebody elses food, y'know
It's like GRODY …
GRODY TO THE MAX
I'm sure
It's like really nauseating
Like BARF OUT
GAG ME WITH A SPOON
GROSS
I am SURE
TOTALLY …