Charlottes Web Blog







September 1, 2008

Happy Labor Day!

I'm enjoying a nice three-day weekend that wasn't particularly restful.

Friday, I got an early start to the weekend, though once I got home, I wish I had just stayed at work. Like. All weekend. Friday was not a good evening at home.

Saturday was better, though a little busy. First, I got up and took JD to the vet for his rabies shot, and made it back in record time. Once home, I bathed JD, and then decided to tackle a bit of the painting. I did the touch-ups and the areas of trim that he wanted me to do because I painted better than he did (I'm anal with the masking tape to make the paint perfect).

Sunday, I had considered going to the gym, but I wanted to sleep in a bit. Plus, Tony wanted to finish up with the painting project he had started earlier in the week. So, we moved furniture, cleaned furniture and walls, dusted, vacuumed, mopped and painted the last two walls, he using the roller, me the smaller brush to get that area where the wall and ceiling connect, and the baseboards with the gold trim. We got done around 1:30, both of us fighting for breath, exhausted and full of paint.

The rest of the day we … rested. And things were good until I received a phone call from my sister Gerri. She said she was calling with bad news and instantly thought it had to do with our mother — thankfully, not.

My brother had a heart attack Saturday morning and passed away. I have no feelings for my brother; he was a class one asshole. While it's sad that he died, it's at the same time a blessing.

I did talk with my mother today, and she's fine. My sister called again and we chatted for an hour or so, discussing more the situation of our brother.

Now… I'm getting ready to kick back and relax the rest of the day away from this machine before having to think about the remainder of the week.




September 5, 2008

Happy TGIF!

I was beginning to wonder if Friday would ever arrive.

It's been a long week…

My morning started late today, though, since I had to go see my doctor first thing this morning. He wasn't particularly thrilled at how the vascular surgeon treated me to say the least! He asked me what was done and said, and I told him that the doc said, "it was either venous insufficiency or lymphedema, and if I had to guess I'd say lymphedema."

Dr. Chumaceiro said, "And … what is he going to do to determine which one it is?"

I laughed and said, "He continued on to tell me that … it doesn't really matter; they're both treated the same way, and then he gave me a prescription for compression hose (which I STILL haven't gotten yet) and said to come back if it gets worse." Then I mentioned that I had researched cellutis, phlebitis, venous insufficiency AND lymphedema before I had even seen him the first time, and pointed out that with lymphedema, generally you only get that after lymph node removal surgery or if you've been in a very serious accident and lymph nodes were damaged (as in the case of a woman I met). I also pointed out that one article I read from one of the medical colleges pointed out that there is a serious difference between venous insufficiency and lymphedema, and while the treatment is the same in early stages, each progresses differently … and he quite agreed with me.

He grunted. "Specialists. I guess they're called that because they THINK they're so special…"

While that was worth a chuckle, he then questioned why I've been seeing the endocrinologist/metabolic specialist. His attitude left me to consider that he probably thought I was wasting my time with her, but I like her, and she has been a big help.

I lost my pedometer the other day. It's… somewhere in the apartment, I'm sure. Hiding. Where, I can't imagine; I've torn the place apart. I had it in my hand when I walked out of the bathroom after a pleasant and refreshing shower… and that's the last time I seen it.

Ticks me off.

At least it's Friday.



September 8, 2008

Ya gotta love the idiots of this world.

This conclusion I came to after dealing with an idiot in my apartment building, who decided to call me names because I got to the laundry room first and didn't do MY laundry HIS way. Once referred to as "the Teacher" he is now forever in my mind called "moo-boy."

However, the whole premise of idiots came up in my mind the day prior, when after leaving a good two-hour workout at the gym, which included time in the swimming pool, I headed to the grocery store that I now have dubbed, "The Zoo." It was packed more heavily than for any holiday I have ever seen it packed; it was literally bulging at its seams. I managed to get most of what I needed at the store; many things were wiped clean of the shelves from all the people scared they'd be somehow broken off from the rest of the world when Hannah arrived.

Mind you, the store I shop at is inland. Way inland. Now if we lived on Long Island, I could see it…

I had to park in a land far far away and hike a few miles in the thick, heavy, humid air. Good thing my hair was wet still from the shower I took at the gym; it blended well with the sweat that poured.

Thankfully my weekend was mostly relaxing. At least I got caught up on Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles — and the season premier is TONIGHT! I'm so looking forward to it…

There are a few shows I'm looking forward to actually. Fringe looks interesting, but it concerns me that it's on Fox, a network that is famous for killing shows after only 3 dates of airing. Mostly, it's returning shows like Heroes, Boston Legal, Bones, and House that I look forward to.

Dancing with the Stars this year looks pretty interesting. Though the cast isn't particularly exciting, there is a new professional or two who is. The premier is set for the 22nd of this month. The claim for glory of this season is not only is it the largest cast to date, and not only boasts the oldest and youngest competitors ever, but that it includes two Olympic Gold medalists, a Grammy-winning singer, a television legend, an Oscar winner, and a Super Bowl champion. And, for the first time ever, all thirteen teams must prepare two routines for the first week of competition. That's pretty tough on those poor soft celebs.

Here's who will be dancing:

I have a new blog by the way, for my diet, er, rather, my life plan. If you care to peruse, it's located at: My Life Plan

Can you believe that we're almost halfway done with September already?



September 9, 2008

There are just some days that I wake up and think, "I don't want to go to work. Anymore. Ever."

Today was one of them.

Not only was I enjoying a good sleep (and dream), but the day wore on and grew worse by the moment. At one point, I considered simply rising and walking off permanently.

Unfortunately, we have to pay bills. Eat. Have a roof over our head.

Damn. I hate reality.



September 11, 2008

Today is a day of somber remembrance for many, especially those who had lived and worked in those places struck during the attacks that fateful day seven years ago.

While driving to work this morning I was listening to Scott and Todd's "Big Show" on WPLJ radio, as I always do every morning, listening as they were addressing the issue of 9/11 and the newspapers who showed no interest in the subject on this day of remembrance. While I feel saddened at the loss of all those people, America didn't even put up half the fuss over the Vietnam Vets…

Amazingly, The NY Times and another NY area newspaper (and not-so-amazingly considering the newspaper), The Post, didn't have 9/11 on their cover page, and within the papers themselves, was barely a mention. Scott and Todd were talking about the travesty in this, as well as other things about this particular day.

While I agree with them, that today is a day of respect for those lost, I too can see the point of others who simply say, "move on."

Indeed as they pointed out, our lives have changed immensely on that fateful day seven years ago. I was here in NYC on that day. In fact, I sat on a bench in Central Park having a bagel when the first plane struck the towers and heard in the distance an odd rumbling, oblivious at that moment that the world had changed forever.

Yes, we need to remember, not only out of respect to lives lost, but also because as it was said, "history repeats itself." We might learn, those of us in the here and now, though sadly, our descendants in future may shrug it off. Much as we, in the here and now, have done with regards to our forefathers.

Scott and Todd called 9/11 "the worst day in American history." I disagree.

In one sentence, it is said to learn about mistakes, but perhaps mistakes of the past have been forgotten, or perhaps deemed not important?

I think it's farther back when we've had, in our American history, day(s) far worse than 9/11.

How about all the thousands of innocent lives lost by the Native Americans at the hands of many of our forefathers? Gentle people who were vanquished over land they cherished and upheld as gifts from the gods? That same land which Americans have subsequently abused? Those families ripped apart, fathers from children, mothers from children, wives from husbands, and separated and scattered across the country and placed in concentration camps the United States government labled as "reservations"? The Cherokee nation moved from their lush farmland of the gentle south and forced to live in the dustbowl of Oklahoma? How about great men of this nation, Chief Joseph Smith of the Nez Perce tribe and his plight -- does that not ring a bell? I still to this day cry when I consider his story, the loss of all his family, his tribe. A crime against him committed by Americans for the "good of America" and why? Because he decided he didn't want to be a Christian, that he wanted to return to the religious roots of his culture? In this country of "freedom of religion" rang, but apparently not in the case of the Native Americans?

No, my friends, those were the worse days in American history.



September 15, 2008

September is half over — can you believe it?

I sit here and have to chuckle, because there are people that make too big of a deal out of things that aren't important. Like, a message board for a roleplay chat room. -rolls eyes- There are far more interesting things to get one's panties worked up in a bunch over.

Well, I ordered a new pedometer. Of course, I know that I will find my lost buddy now for sure, but, I look at it as ... I will have a back up buddy in case one of them decides to poof again to pedometer-nirvana, or wherever it has vanished to. Hopefully, I'll get it within a couple of days.

I've lost another 5 pounds, which has me dancing happy. I've already met the goal my doctor set for me before we meet again in December. I have a different goal that I hope to make before that date.

I spent over two hours at the gym yesterday, and I feel … great. A good hour was spent in the weight circuits, always starting off with 30-40 minutes on the bike. I nudged up the level starting yesterday as well; the lowest level is just not effective enough for me. After a good hour, maybe a bit more than that, of sweating off the calories, the weight circuit near-empty so I was able to do a complete overall body workout, I headed to the swimming pool — which was pretty crowded. At least there were no children coming for swim class anymore, so it allowed for the full pool to be used. I swam and worked out in the pool for another hour before heading to the showers and then to the grocery story before heading home.

Tony has lost weight, too, not that he particularly needed to. I've tried to get him to come hang out with me at the gym one weekend day, but he doesn't like gyms. I can't blame him, really, because I honestly would prefer to have my own personal home gym, a room set aside like I once had before, and a private swimming pool to boot. Maybe, when we win the lottery. -chuckles- Until then, I'm stuck stowing away my stuff in a locker amidst a bunch of naked Chinese ladies.

I've read a lot of complaints the other day about Bally's, but frankly, it has me scratching my head at the denseness of some people. There were some about bad conditions at specific clubs, but most were complaints from people that they didn't know they were signing a contract? Um, I mean, if you're going to sign something, don't you want to know WHAT you are signing before you sign? Don't you bother to READ before you sign? Ask questions? There was one complaint that was a bit frightening, though whether or not it was true is another matter; the complaint was regarding a club in Manhattan, in which the person alledged that all of the employees had access to personal files and she was now being stalked.

Bally's didn't get an easy sale from me. Not only did I demand a complete tour, especially of the locker room and shower room, to determine the cleanliness of the gym, but I didn't agree to a sale right away. It was several months down the road that I signed and then I sat there and read the entire thing before I did sign, and I was met not with annoyance but rather with respect. When the girl came in to do the contract, and put my personal information on the computer, I asked her pointedly who had access to that information, and was assured that only herself, the other account specialist and the general manager did. I wrote their names on my copy of the contract as she watched and then made HER sign to that effect. In this age of identity theft, it's always best to be proactive in such things rather than later discover you've been victimized.

At least I managed to get a tank full of gas at a low cost before the rates were raised after the striking of Hurrican Ike. This morning, it was pretty windy; the fingers of Ike even reaching us.

However, things are not looking so great with the Stock Market, especially after the end of a bank well over 150 years old! They said it was the worst thing to happen since the Depression. I can kick myself for not taking out my funds that I had in stocks and sticking it into my guaranteed savings; the interest of which is pretty decent. Now those funds are rather low, and so they'll remain to hopefully gain once again when the market recovers. Of course, they're saying that's like 18 months down the line…

Happy Monday.



September 17, 2008

I had a rather strange day yesterday. This morning, I was worried that it was another day of the same, considering I had walked off leaving my cell phone on the charger in the kitchen, but remembered it by time I made it to the elevator and had to go back to fetch it.

To reflect …

The day was actually going quite well. I had enough work to keep me busy but not overly so. When lunch time arrived, I locked my purse in my overhead cabinet, took the key, my cell phone and my car keys and headed out to spend my lunch in the solitude and peacefulness of my car. I had left my ice cooler-bag there in the car, since it was going to be a nice cool day and I didn't have to worry about the air in the car becoming oppressive. So, I ate leisurely and listened to the radio while I read my book.

I started to work on a project for one of our clients when … SKREEEeeeEEECH!!! SKREEEeeeEEECH!!! SKREEEeeeEEECH!!! sounded the fire alarms. GREAT. It wasn't a planned thing, but most likely, the deli (again) caught something on fire. I heard someone say, "isn't this like the FIFTH time this month?!" Um, fourth. I grabbed my purse and headed out along with the others to herd ourselves down the six flights of stairs.

Once down the stairs, I headed to my car, to sit and relax while waiting to be able to return inside the building. I munched my yogurt then as well. Ahh… a nice break.

Hm. Someone thought it would be fun to pull a fire alarm and not a deli goof up after all. Good times.

Finally it was time to head out, and I'm at my car, and starting it up. Damn, it was cloudy and stormy looking. And dark. I was wearing my sunglasses, but I knew that after the gym, I would need my regular ones. I had them in my bag in the trunk, and since I don't want people at the gym to know I have a stash in my trunk, opened my trunk, got out and went to fetch them from my bag.

Except … they weren't there, and I could have sworn I had put them in the bag the night before after watching "Terminator" … I dug in the bag searching … but I didn't find them. Crap.

Now, I didn't dare go to the gym and try to drive home sans glasses. With my luck, I'd either get pulled over by a cop and busted for not wearing my glasses, or crash into something.

Okay, plan B now was put into effect and I headed to Burger King to get Tony's Neopets he's been bugging me for and I figured, I may as well grab a grilled chicken salad while I was there for my dinner, and a couple of whopper juniors for Tony. Well … CRAP! I thought, while driving. My purse was in the trunk with my money. I put my drivers license, car registration and insurance papers in a small wallet that I take into the gym only. So, instead of the drive through, I would just park the car and go inside, which rather annoyed me. -laughs-

Food in hand, I'm on the road again, after putting my purse and bag in the front with me, since I was heading home. I'm driving along, the traffic a bit heavier than normal. I get near to the end of the Saw Mill where it splits into the Moshulu and the Henry Hudson; the Henry Hudson (the one I take home) is of course … at a near stand still. CRAP!!! It was a slow-go all the way until I got to the bridge (something like 2.25 miles that seem like 25 miles when going at a dizzying speed of 5 miles an hour). At least it wasn't a parking lot, though slow moving, it was steady. I nearly dug into Tony's two burgers, inhaling their delicious scent and making my mouth water, thinking of how I could have spent this time at the gym, and probably get home at the same time!

As I (finally) make it to the bridge, which has, for some five or six months now, been reduced from a four-lane bridge to a three-lane bridge due to construction (re-surfacing, et al), I see that the three-lanes have been reduced to only two-lanes. Yay. Smart thing to do during rush hour! Yes indeedy. I was happy that most people misread the signs and thought only the right lane was for those with EZ Pass, and determined that if I was wrong, I'd happily pay in cash to avoid the horrendous line of people in the right hand land, and breeze through via the left lane. But I was right; the left lane still had the five booths; two for cash, three for EZ Pass, and the right lane only had the two booths, er, correction, reduced down to one booth due to the construction, for EZ Pass only, and I was not only out of the traffic jam, but swiftly flying down the highway, almost home now.

God, I love being right. -BOL-

I arrived home and feeling great, put my things away, and then tell JD "let's go!" as I grab his leash. After leashing him up, and him bouncing so excited to go out for a while, I clipped my cellphone to my belt, and then snatched my keys off the table where I had left them beside my ice cooler-bag and the Burger King food, slipping them into the pocket of my pants, and we headed out the door. CLICK! Went the auto-lock, but I always lock the deadbolt regardless that I'll be gone only a few minutes. I slip out my keys …

You got it ….


My CAR keys. NOT my HOUSE keys. I tried the door. Of course, it was locked. Doh. I looked at JD and sighed. Great. So, we headed to the elevator and outside, and while JD did his thing, I called Tony. He told me there was an easy way to get in, to jimmy the auto-lock. Except. I had no way to get INSIDE the building, even through the back gate, because … hello … the keys were on the table in the apartment.

So I did the only thing I could do, besides sit outside the apartment for four hours until Tony got home, was to put JD in the car, and drive sans drivers license, car registration and insurance card the 1-1/2 miles to Tony's job, get his keys and drive back, and hopefully not get pulled over by the zillions of NYC cops. I passed SO many cops parked waiting to nab someone.

I make it to Tony's job, grab his keys and head home. On the way home, I get a cop behind me. I was sweating bullets! Though I did nothing wrong, I DID go around him when he had pulled over (without signal) to pick up another cop, who had cast me a glance. But … whew … he turned at the next street while I went straight.

Once we were home and in the apartment, I locked the door and told JD we were not moving a muscle! He was looking at me oddly, for his evening had surely been strange; we set out on a walk and then he's shoved into my car for what probably seemed to him to be rather mindless — he never got out of the car until we got home a half hour later! I appeased him not only his cookie, but with a few veggies from my salad as well.

I put the chicken in the microwave to heat up, and when I took it out, noticed both ends of the bag were sealed shut, so as I tore open the one end to empty the chicken into the bowl …


Yeah. Again.

The OTHER end decided to open as well, and dumped my chicken ALL over the place on the counter… and a couple of pieces on the floor, which I washed off and gave to JD. Oh yeah, he was one happy doggy.

Oh, and my regular glasses? They were in the bag after all; somehow, in all my rummaging, I missed them. CRAP!!!!!!!

As today winds down, it was not a repeat of yesterday. Though I made it to the gym and had a great workout, I declined a swim due to the fact that the pool was rather crowded.

Bones is coming on. Pax.



September 19, 2008

I had to go to the DMV yesterday to get my drivers license renewed. I can renew it online or by mail, however, then I'd have to fork out the $100 or so to see an eye doctor for an eye exam, and then I KNOW I'm long overdue for new lenses, so rather than having to fork out many more $100's, I'll go wait in the long lines and memorize the eye charts.

I looked online to make sure the hours hadn't changed, and discovered (happily) another DMV office that was more directly on my way home. Cool beans. I ran mapquest, though the directions I ended up shucking, because the city of Yonkers had nice big signs leading me the way far better than mapquest did.

I copped a parking spot in the shade at the lot directly at the building where the DMV is housed, walked in and … walked out with my renewal in hand less than thirty minutes later. How awesome is that?! I had to laugh though. The eye exam? Well, firstly, the row that ALL the examiners were using that day was highlighted. And practically on the lap of the dude that waited on me. Pfft.

I got my new pedometer. I really like it. It's a Yamex Digi-Walker, and one of the top pedometers out there. It has some features that I don't particularly like over my lost Omron, but it's much more accurate.

I read an article today that I'd like to share regarding "Treadmill Desks." These are, quite simply, treadmills that have a desk set up, in which the worker can walk their way to health, while typing on their computer, etc. I think it's rather awesome myself. Here's the link: Treadmill Desks

This is the last weekend of summer. YAY! I love autumn.




September 24, 2008

Okay, are you ready. Big shocker here…

Clay Aiken is officially gay.

Okay, I'm over it.

So anyway, Monday night left me in a bit of a quandry. Dancing With the Stars premiered. As did Heroes. Then there was Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Happily, however, I discovered that Heroes was rebroadcasting premier night on Saturday. Cool beans. Perhaps others felt the same way because Dancing With the Stars was tops in ratings, and Heroes suffered. FOX has a great video viewer, so I can watch Terminator from their site (plus, I intend to get the DVD for Season 2 as well; it was awesomely cool to watch the entire season all in one shot).

As for Heroes, it's one show that doesn't interest me to build a DVD collection on. Granted, the first season was awesome, but the second season was … rather boring and mindless. I think, even without the writers' strike, it would have continued in the same direction. I can only hope season three is better.

Who else thinks this year's DWTS is rather dull and the celebrities not so entertaining? I was not impressed after Monday's night's premier, nor after last night, giving up a night of watching the awesome Fringe. Now, that's another show that I think I'll likely by the DVD of the entire season for. If it makes it a full season, that is.

So, about DWTS and the non-entertainment offered.

First, I'd like to make one comment: this season, the judges remember that there are integers lower than 7. And use them often.

Brooke Burke and Derek. Monday night, they earned 23 out of possible a 30. Brooke seemed terrified before her cha-cha, but managed to pull it off with so much hip action that, according to Bruno, Len was panting with his tongue hanging out. ''That's mostly an age thing,'' quipped Tom. I had to wonder about the comment over Brooke's ''hyper-extended legs'' while costumed in floor-length brown pants. I agree with Len it was the best dance of the night. So did America; they made it through and performed last night as well, again being top scorers earning 26 out of the possible 30. The judges whipped out the 9s for Brooke and Derek, whose dance they said embodied ''pure Hollywood'.' I particularly loved this couple's costumes, too.

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer earned a 22 our of 30. I was actually looking forward to this coupling, or rather to see what Lacey would bring to the show, having seen her on So You Think You Can Dance. Lacey said she was bringing an "edge" to ballroom. Hm. V ia pink hair extensions? Ugly boots? Lance's face on her skirt? I didn't find her choreographer particularly edgy. Len hatedhatedHATED the pair's ''young and modern'' version of the cha-cha because he's old and traditional, but Bruno and Carrie Ann adored the ''cha-cha-cha for now!'' The younger crowd in America enjoyed them enough to bring save them for another night. So, last night, they did their ballroom number, earning only 21 out of 30. Her dance training? Pee like a dog? Oookay. The judges want more elegance in Lacey's choreography, Lacey wore more black, Lance let a chain dangle from his belt. It was … EDGY.

Toni Braxton and Alec I think are one of my favorite couples, earning 22 out of 30 Monday night. Affectionately labeled by Bruno as ''slinky, sultry, sexy, BAM! BAM!'' the diva currently suffers from a heart condition that's inspired her to get out there and live life. Her cha-cha was impressive, too. America thought so too, and last night she and Alec performed their ballroom number, a quick-step no less, earning 23 points, that literally scared the bejeezus out of me. Toni received a very important lesson from Alec in how to breathe, specifically breathing out on the way down from a jump or other strenuous move because the woman damn near collapsed in rehearsal and was concerned about making it through the whole thing on TV.

Misty May-Treanor and Maks. Okay. Awesome pairing. They earned 21 out of 30 in their ballroom number, with a great potential for doing better each week. The judges disagreed on how Misty's athletic intensity should mingle with the elegance of the ballroom. They made it through to last night, earning again, 21 out of 30 on their Latin number, the mamba. This time, Misty wowed the judges with her unlikely sense of showmanship, and, also did more solo work in the mambo than any other star — a smart choreographic move by Maks!

Warren Sapp and Kym are such a cute couple aren't they? Earning 21 out of 30, the lovable Warren demonstrated in their cha-cha that he's as goofy and light on his feet as season 3 winner Emmitt Smith, and Kym deserves a partner as lovable as him in her fifth U.S. season. The question burning in my mind though: ''Did or did not Kym get her breasts enhanced during the off-season?'' They earned their way to perform their ballroom number last night, earning 22 points. For a big fellow, he was pretty okay in his quick-step. Not surprisingly, Len and Carrie Ann agreed the steps themselves were a bit flat despite the fact that they felt his quickness pretty impressive for a 300 pound man. Me too.

Maurice Green and Cheryl earned a paltry 18 out of 30 in their fox trot. I thought it entertaining enough, just needs to polish his finesse and be less James Brownishy. They made it through to last night, their mambo far better, earning them 21 points. The judges don't exactly fancy him to a fine technician, but they do love his energy, and Bruno loves sexy parties, so there's that. There's also the Worm, Mo's now-signature-after-just-two-nights dance move. You know the Worm, right? It translates to ''the Free Willy'' in British? That one.

Cody Linley and Julianne earned 18 out of 30 Monday night with their Latin number. This is a couple that has me cringing for two reasons. One, is that I picture Julianne dancing these sexy numbers with her brother Derek. It only gets worse when I hear Cody say, ''If I could focus on the dance instead of Julianne's hotness." Second, it was hit on the nail when they were referred to as the Prom king and queen. Yee-up! Cody and Julianne are really, really … really … young. ''The flash of youth,'' according to Bruno. Anyway, they made it through to last night (doh!) and did much better in their quickstep, earning 23 points. Cody went through The Change from boy to man just in time to command ballroom's most difficult dance with a more mature frame and posture.

Nerd-hater Ted McGinley and the lovely (new) Inna earned 18 out of 30 in their cha-cha Monday night. I think Ted danced much better than what the judges ranked him, but I honestly don't expect him to last too long. Last night they did a little better, earning 19 points. It's hard to determine which was more 'meh': Ted's wilted one-liners during the rehearsal package or his mambo itself.

Susan Lucci and Tony danced the cha-cha, earning a 15 out of 30, receiving mixed reviews. Len thought it was too careful, Bruno wanted her to be sluttier, and Carrie Ann begged her to gain some weight. The judges all agreed that Susan needs to basically play Erica Kane on the ballroom floor instead of herself. She surely thought she was heading home last night (no way), but didn't, and earned 22 points in the ballroom number, a much more powerful quick-step. Poor Tony. He always seems to get saddled with partners who need constant pep talks. Susan assumed she was learning the two dances at a much slower pace than she should have been. But no! Enter miracle worker and longtime Carrie Ann nemesis Tony, who used kind and soothing words to work his magic. Len bragged about correctly predicting that Susan would excel at the standard ballroom styles. I prefer her on All My Children … which, is ending permanently.

Rocco DiSpirito and Karina earned 14 out of 30 points. It was kind of cool to see Rocco get some of his own treatment, being the mean guest judge on Top Chef this time he was the victim of judges. He's definitely a showman, and honestly, I didn't think his fox-trot was all that bad for the first week. Making it through to last night, they much improved with their mambo, earning 21 points. Rocco had to learn to move them hips; he wasn't successful. The judges flipped out on how much he'd improved (even more than they did for Susan). Despite his surprising aptitude as a performer, between ''I have no movement in my hips'' and ''Let's be honest, I have no strength in this competition,'' he's really making a solid case for himself. He's definitely on the short list (personally really all the celebrities this year are on it, truth be told).

Kim Kardashian and Mark came in with a 19 out of 30 Monday night. Ms. ''I'm best known for being a reality TV star'' is totally incorrect, thanks to The Soup, letting everyone know that she is really famous for having a big ass and a sex tape. Hey, whichever skill set applies to the task at hand, I say. The judges all panned Kim and Mark's lack of chemistry during their fox-trot. It's true. It was very lack-luster to me. But Bruno made the best comparison, likening Kim to Aladdin's Princess Jasmine: ''A treasure trove that everyone would want to enjoy. But you've got to make it more available.'' I think my favorite Kim line of the night was when she complained, ''I have terrible balance. Why am I so unbalanced?'' One guess. Much to her surprise, they made it through to last night, and performed their cha-cha earning 18 points. The quasi-celebrity seems so afraid of looking stupid or silly that she's forgotten she agreed to be on a show whose primary function is to make quasi-celebrities look stupid and silly. Did YOU buy her "I'm shy; I'm so reserved" act? Uh. Two words. Sex tape.

Cloris Leachman and Corky earned 16 out of 30 on Monday. There's basically nothing one can say about Cloris' ''performance'' that in any way relates to her actual fox-trot. After Bruno made that Battlestar Geriatrica comment, Cloris hoisted her leg onto the judges' table, then proceeded to nearly flash Len and sit in Carrie Ann's lap. Amidst fake laughter, the judges did offer critiques, which Cloris opted not to hear in favor of making jokes about orphans. Watching Cloris Leachman swear after receiving her scores was about the only real entertainment. How sad. Of course, American wants to hear more profanity, and too, probably feel sorry for the aging, bulging woman and voted enough to keep her on at least to perform a couple of times more. Last night, they were supposed to dance a mamba, earning another 16 points for their efforts. Instead of a mambo, the pair played on asses. Each others. Their performance was actually the official movie trailer for Cloris and Corky Make a Porno on Live TV. Catch it on DVD. With an entire jewelry store pasted onto her body, Cloris shimmied, grabbed crotches, and spun around six times before collapsing into a heap and pretending to attack her partner just before tickling him. Yay. I'd say, after Kim goes, Cloris will too.

Last and thankfully least, Jeffrey Ross and Edyta scored the lowest Monday with 12 points out of 30. End of the road, America hated him as much as I did. Anyone who does not already know how to pronounce ''Edyta'' deserves gets sent home this week. Not to mention, he was incredibly, horribly, not funny, and even more so BORING!!! I sensed, Edyta was not happy with her partnership and noted silent pleas in her eyes to please please PLEASE send them home! She got her wish.




September 25, 2008

I had an epiphany the other day. I thought of it this morning while getting ready for work. Now, if only I could remember what it is!

So anyway, last night on Dancing With the Stars Ted McGinley was sent home. Unfortunately, it means Inna will be, too. It's hard for a newcomer, I imagine, to come to the show with fresh ideas, amongst an alumni of other pros, four of which are previous season champions. To be strapped with a partner not so adept to pick up dance moves makes it even harder. Ted was truly upset, and I think it's unfair that Kim and Cloris get to stay rather than him, the bottom line is that it's only the first week, and he'd be gone within the next two weeks anyway. Cody got a come-uppance I think, to be one of the two left with the fate unknown.

Cloris is around for at least another week. I predict it won't be long before America tires of her antics. Kim, too, I think is destined to be a short-timer. Perhaps her kittenish behavior Wedneday night earned her a few male votes, possible those hoping she makes DWTS: The Sex Tape on live TV.

Once it gets down to those adept at dancing versus those not so adept, hopefully it will be a dance contest, and not a popularity contest. As if.

Jesse McCartney and the Jonas Brothers. To be a teeny bopper again, I'd so be having a crush on Jesse. It was cute stuff, and a draw to bring in the younger voters/viewers to the show, but my real beef is — WHY ALL THE *@%&#* CANNED SCREAMING?!? The show starts … the screaming starts. You can barely hear what Tom and Samantha are attempting to say over it all. The dancing begins, and again … SCREAMING! BUT… Watch the audience and — you don't see any open mouths! PLEASE STOP ALREADY WITH THE OBVIOUSLY CANNED SCREAMING!

Compared to previous results show, it was a pretty boring one and I honestly didn't much watch it. Jeffrey Ross and Edyta performed their quickstep; no one really cared. Now, at least, Edyta will get to perform in every single pro dance for the rest of the season, which really is her forte.

I almost quit my job today. Yeah…

I kicked butt at the gym after work.

I feel slightly better.

Good night.


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